It felt like an out of body experience. I could see my face going blank and hear my voice as if it were someone else talking. I saw, rather than felt, the tears building up.

The professor was not the monster in that room. The only monsters there were my own insecurities: telling me that I did not know the case well enough to recite it, compelling me to just take the easy way out by saying that I had not read the case.

I am more sorry than I can say. Sorry for letting the professor down, sorry for ruining the good mood my classmates strove to maintain, sorry for not being clever or sure enough with my answers.

So many apologies, but they can only take me so far into everyone’s good graces. Action would be better but which action? To drop and end everyone’s misery or to soldier on as if I were the only person in that class with something to prove?


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